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Further information: Mixed-orientation marriage
A couple in front of an LDS temple following their temple sealing marriage ceremony. LDS leaders have stated that opposite-sex marriage should not be viewed as a therapeutic step for members physically attracted to those of the same sex.[4]

Because all homosexual sexual activity is condemned as sinful by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church) in its law of chastity, and the church teaches that God does not approve of same-sex marriage,[5][6] many LGBTQ members of the LDS Church have felt that they should marry someone of the opposite sex. According to LDS historian Greg Prince, for decades church leaders counseled many men to be sealed to a women with the promise this would "cure" their homosexuality, and the overall track record of these mixed-orientation marriages (MOMs) has "generally been dismal, often catastrophic, and sometimes lethal" despite the best intentions.[10]

The church's 2012 website acknowledged by implication that past leaders' advice for individuals attracted to the same-sex to marry someone of the opposite sex may have been erroneous.[7]: 217  Leaders have said that homosexual attractions will not continue past death,[3] and that those who don't have an opportunity to be married in this life will in the afterlife.[11][12]

Background

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For a chronological guide, see Timeline of LGBT Mormon history.

All homosexual sexual activity is condemned as sinful by the church, and it teaches that God does not approve of same-sex marriage.[5][6] Adherents who participate in same-sex sexual behavior may face church discipline. Members of the church who experience homosexual attractions, including those who self-identify as gay, lesbian, or bisexual remain in good standing in the church if they abstain from same-sex marriage and any homosexual sexual activity or sexual relationships outside an opposite-sex marriage.[7]: 116 [3][13] However, all people, including those in same-sex relationships and marriages, are permitted to attend the weekly Sunday meetings.[14]

Plan of Salvation

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Main article: Plan of salvation in Mormonism
A diagrammed timeline of humanity according to LDS teachings called the plan of salvation showing potential destinations on the right side after death.

In the church's plan of salvation noncelibate gay and lesbian individuals will not be allowed in the top tier of heaven to receive exaltation unless they repent during mortality, and a heterosexual marriage is a requirement for exaltation.[15][16] The LDS Church has campaigned against government recognition of same-sex marriage, and the topic of same-sex marriage has been one of the church's foremost public concerns since 1993.[7]: 1  These current teachings and policies leave homosexual members with the options of attempting a mixed-orientation opposite-sex marriage,[7]: 27 [8]: 108  or living a lifetime of celibacy without any sexual expression.[19]

In the church's plan of salvation noncelibate gay and lesbian individuals will not be allowed in the top tier of heaven to receive what's called exaltation to become like God unless they repent, and a heterosexual marriage is a requirement.[15][16] Author Charlotte Scholl Shurtz stated that the focus on Heavenly Parents as a cisgender, heterosexual couple enshrines heteronormativity and teaches that heterosexuality is an essential prerequisite to godhood.[20]: 69, 77–78  She further said that current teachings deny exaltation and godhood for LGBTQ+ people unless they eternally perform a cisgender, heterosexual relationship after death.[20]: 77–78, 80 

Prevalence

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Evergreen director David Pruden was quoted as stating in 2002 that 40% of the approximately 150 callers requesting help each month on their hotline were Mormon men married to women, and distressed about their homosexual attractions.[21][21]: 134  Additionally, a 2004 publication quoted Family Services statistics which showed that about half of the approximately 400 gay Mormon men they had seen as clients for over a year during the past 30 years were married, though only half of those were able to stay married.[21]: 135 [22]

The church teaches that heterosexual marriage is one of several requirements for afterlife entry into the "highest degree of glory" in the celestial kingdom. Church leaders previously encouraged this, with one former church employee stating in 1986 that he had experienced pressure to marry at the age of 24 in the belief that it would change his homosexual feelings, later resulting in a divorce.[23] Artist Trevor Southey stated that he was counseled by the church to marry a woman in an attempt to reorient his sexuality, and the marriage ultimately failed.[7]: 9 

Publicized instances

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Several LDS individuals have been reported as being in an MOM. These include Ty Mansfield,[24][25] and the late church patriarch Joseph Fielding Smith.[26]: 111–117 [27]: 370  LDS-raised individuals who later divorced from an MOM include Josh Weed,[28] Bruce Bastian,[29] Carol Lynn Pearson,[30][31] Dave Matheson,[32] and Connell O'Donovan.[33][34] Deceased LDS-raised individuals who divorced from an MOM include D. Michael Quinn,[35][36]Ada Dwyer Russell,[37]: 51  and Mildred J. Berryman.[38]: 354  LDS members in MOMs have received media coverage like in the reality television show My Husband's Not Gay,[39][40][41] and the documentary series Mormon No More.[42][43] A fictional depiction occurs in the play Angels in America.[44]: 16–17 

Changes in teachings

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For a chronological guide, see Timeline of teachings on homosexuality in the LDS church.

In 2012 an official church website stated church leaders no longer necessarily advise opposite-sex marriage to those attracted to the same sex.[1][45] The first high-ranking LDS leaders to publicly speak out against mixed-orientation marriages was Gordon Hinckley in 1987 when he stated that "marriage should not be viewed as a therapeutic step to solve problems such as homosexual inclinations or practices ...."[46][7]: 29  Church publications now warn local congregation leaders that encouraging members to attempt to cultivate heterosexual feelings generally leads to frustration and discouragement.[47] Previously, the church had taught that it was possible to overcome same-sex feelings,[48]: 36–38  and that heterosexual feelings can emerge once an individual ceases any same-sex sexual activity, making a heterosexual marriage possible.[47]

Oaks stated in 2007 that marriages should not be entered under false pretenses,[3] but also stated a heterosexual marriage would be appropriate for a man attracted to men who had "shown their ability to deal with these feelings or inclinations and put them in the background, and feel a great attraction for a daughter of God".[3] The most recent statement by a general church leader as of 2015 was when the apostle Oaks stated that leaders no longer recommend marriage as a solution for same-gender feelings.[2]: 17:32  Another recent mention is in the church website on homosexuality which features a gay man married to a straight woman.[49]

Changes in teachings on dating & marriage for LGBTQ members
Topic Earlier teachings Current teachings
Heterosexual dating and marriage As a therapeutic step to overcome homosexuality[54] Not to be seen as a therapy or solution[55]

Research on views and outcomes

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See also: Religion and divorce and Divorce demography

Several surveys have been done on the topic of LGBT Mormons and opposite-sex marriages. A 1997 study by members of the BYU Family Studies Department found that of over 200 single LDS women of diverse ages polled, 33% would be willing to seriously date and consider marriage with a hypothetical LDS college grad who had been sexually active with other men 3 years ago.[56] A 2015 study found that 51% of the 1,612 LGBT Mormon respondents who had entered a mixed-orientation marriage ended up divorcing,[9]: 301 [57]

The study projected that 69% of all these marriages would ultimately end in divorce.[8]: 108 [58][59] The study also found that engaging in mixed-orientation marriages and involvement in the LDS Church were correlated with higher rates of depression and a lower quality of life for LGBT people.[61] In 2007 during a panel held in a church headquarters building, several gay LDS members reported that they were able to maintain their heterosexual marriage.[62]

See also

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References

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  1. ^ a b Saletan, William (December 10, 2012). "Queer Today, Gone Tomorrow: The Mormon case for gay marriage". Slate. Retrieved February 27, 2023.
  2. ^ a b c Trib Talk: LDS leaders Oaks, Christofferson will appear on Trib Talk to discuss religious freedom. Salt Lake City, Utah: The Salt Lake Tribune. January 29, 2015. Archived from the original on December 15, 2021. Retrieved February 27, 2023 – via YouTube.
  3. ^ a b c d e f "Interview With Elder Dallin H. Oaks and Elder Lance B. Wickman: 'Same-Gender Attraction'" (Press release). LDS Church. September 2006. Retrieved February 27, 2023. See also The Salt Lake Tribune's archived transcript here.
  4. ^ [1][2]: 17:32 [3]: 1 
  5. ^ a b "Same-Sex Marriage". LDS Church. July 2019. Retrieved February 27, 2023.
  6. ^ a b "What is the Church's position on homosexuality? Is it OK to be friends with people who have homosexual feelings?". Ensign. Salt Lake City, Utah: LDS Church. July 2012. Retrieved February 28, 2023. The church opposes homosexual behavior ... Homosexual behavior is contrary to [our] purpose and violates God's commandments. ... Neither the Lord nor His church can condone any behavior that violates His laws. Again, we condemn the immoral behavior, not the person.
  7. ^ a b c d e f g Prince, Gregory A. (2019). Gay Rights and the Mormon Church: Intended Actions, Unintended Consequences. Salt Lake City, Utah: University of Utah Press. ISBN 9781607816638.
  8. ^ a b c Dehlin, John P. (2015). Sexual Orientation Change Efforts, Identity Conflict, and Psychosocial Health Amongst Same-Sex Attracted Mormons (PhD). Utah State University. Retrieved February 26, 2023.
  9. ^ a b c Galliher, Renee; Bradshaw, William; Dehlin, John P.; Crowelle, Katherine (April 25, 2014). "Psychosocial Correlates of Religious Approaches to Same-Sex Attraction: A Mormon Perspective". Journal of Gay & Lesbian Mental Health. 18 (3): 284–311. doi:10.1080/19359705.2014.912970. S2CID 144153586.
  10. ^ [7]: 27 [8]: 108 [9]
  11. ^ Oaks, Dallin H. (1988). Pure in Heart. Salt Lake City, Utah: Bookcraft. pp. 61–62. ISBN 978-0-88494-650-2 – via Internet Archive.
  12. ^ Oaks, Dallin H. (October 1995). "Same-Gender Attraction". Ensign. LDS Church. Retrieved February 27, 2023.
  13. ^ Hinckley, Gordon B. (November 1998). "What Are People Asking about Us?". Ensign. LDS Church. Retrieved February 27, 2023.
  14. ^ "Worship with Us: What to Expect". mormon.org. LDS Church. Archived from the original on February 15, 2019. Retrieved July 2, 2014 – via Internet Archive.
  15. ^ a b Beaver, Michelle (March 11, 2011). "Mormon church has a fractured history with gays". The Mercury News. San Jose, California: Digital First Media. Retrieved January 16, 2023. There are three levels to the heaven in which Mormons believe, and to make it to the highest level, one must be married. Perhaps the most sacred church ordinance is the temple marriage, a "sealing" between a man and a woman that is believed to be eternal, according to Richley Crapo, a Utah State University professor. There is no place for homosexuality in Mormon marriages, and no place for noncelibate homosexuals in the top level of Mormon heaven, unless that person has repented accordingly in the afterlife.
  16. ^ a b Petrey, Taylor G. (February 4, 2015). "My Husband's Not Gay: Homosexuality and the LDS Church". Religion & Politics. St. Louis, Missouri: Washington University in St. Louis. John C. Danforth Center on Religion and Politics. Retrieved February 27, 2023. In the Mormon cosmos, as presently understood, there is simply no room for same-sex relationships. For Mormons, the afterlife consists of heterosexual pairs of divinized men and women. Often church leaders have counseled Mormons who experience same-sex attraction that their unwelcome feelings will disappear in the afterlife. ... [T]he very structure of heaven can only accommodate opposite-sex marriages.
  17. ^ Phillips, Rick (2005). Conservative Christian Identity & Same-Sex Orientation: The Case of Gay Mormons. Frankfurt, Germany: Peter Lang Publishing. ISBN 978-0820474809. Archived from the original on April 6, 2023. Retrieved February 27, 2023 – via Academia.edu.
  18. ^ Cook, Bryce (Summer 2017). "What Do We Know of God's Will for His LGBT Children? An Examination of the LDS Church's Current Position on Homosexuality". Dialogue. 50 (2). doi:10.5406/dialjmormthou.50.2.0001. S2CID 190443414. Retrieved February 27, 2023.
  19. ^ [17]: 11 [18]: 20–21 
  20. ^ a b Scholl Shurtz, Charlotte (Spring 2022). "A Queer Heavenly Family: Expanding Godhood Beyond a Heterosexual, Cisgender Couple". Dialogue. 55 (1).
  21. ^ a b c Schow, Ron (Fall 2005). "Homosexual Attractions and LDS Marriage Decisions" (PDF). Dialogue. 38 (3): 133–143. doi:10.2307/45227379. JSTOR 45227379. S2CID 254393745. Retrieved June 18, 2017.
  22. ^ Schow, Ron (2004). "The Persistence of Same Sex Attraction in Latter-day Saints Who Undergo Counseling or Change Therapy". Archived from the original on December 11, 2011.
  23. ^ Lindsey, Robert (October 30, 1986). "Utah Now Facing Problem of AIDS". The New York Times. New York City. p. A19. ProQuest 111005850. Retrieved February 26, 2023. 'A lot of men are forced to marry, and they play around on the side,' said Davyd Daniels, a former Mormon ... William Blevins, 40, a former librarian at the Mormon Church's genealogical center, said the church put pressure on him to marry at 24 in belief 'it would cure me' of homosexual leanings. It did not, he said, adding that 'I still had my feelings' and that after he fathered four children the church discharged him, then excommunicated him and forced him to disclose the identities of several other employees at the church's headquarters with whom he had had sexual relations.
  24. ^ Parker, Ray. "Openly gay Mormon taught religion classes this summer at BYU". The Salt Lake Tribune. Retrieved March 17, 2014.
  25. ^ "Reviews – Between Suicide and Celibacy" (PDF), Dialogue, 38 (4), University of Illinois Press: 208–217, Winter 2005, doi:10.2307/45227365, JSTOR 45227365, S2CID 254394659
  26. ^ Bergera, Gary James (Winter 2011), "Transgression in the Latter-day Saint Community: The Cases of Albert Carrington, Richard R. Lyman, and Joseph F. Smith. Part 3: Joseph F. Smith", Journal of Mormon History, 38 (1), Urbana, IL: University of Illinois Press
  27. ^ Quinn, D. Michael (1996). Same-Sex Dynamics among Nineteenth-Century Americans: A Mormon Example. Champaign, Illinois: University of Illinois Press. ISBN 978-0252022050 – via Google Books.
  28. ^ Jones, Morgan (February 7, 2018). "The Weeds' story is one of many stories of LGBT Latter-day Saints that continue to be written". Deseret News. Salt Lake City, Utah: LDS Church.
  29. ^ "Melanie Laycock-Bastian". Deseret News. 2016. Retrieved August 16, 2018 – via Legacy.com. In 1976, she married Bruce W. Bastian and together they had four sons. The couple divorced in 1993 but remained close.
  30. ^ Winn, Steven (August 18, 2007). "Mormon author Carol Lynn Pearson tries to separate church and hate."]". SFGate.
  31. ^ Kenneth, Jones (May 30, 2007). "Facing East, Drama of a Shaken Mormon Family, Continues to 17 June in NYC". Playbill.
  32. ^ "Once-prominent 'conversion therapist' will now 'pursue life as a gay man'". NBC News. January 23, 2019. Retrieved February 19, 2019.
  33. ^ Dobner, Jennifer (June 2, 2007). "Support group for gay and lesbian Mormons marks 30 years". Seattle Times. Retrieved May 21, 2023.
  34. ^ Johnston, Kim (October 25, 2019). "Letter: Parents do not have the right to harm their children". Salt Lake Tribune. Retrieved May 21, 2023.
  35. ^ Stack, Peggy Fletcher (April 22, 2021). "Historian D. Michael Quinn, who was booted from the LDS Church as part of the 'September Six' but remained a believer, dies at 77". The Salt Lake Tribune. Retrieved April 8, 2024.
  36. ^ Golden, Daniel (April 6, 2006), "Scholar of Mormon History, Expelled From Church, Hits a Wall in Job Search", The Wall Street Journal, p. A1, Mr. Quinn's personal life contributed to his estrangement from the church. The father of four was divorced in 1985 and came out as a homosexual in 1996 when he published a book about same-sex friendships and romances in 19th-century Mormonism. The church condemns homosexual behavior. Mr. Quinn says he still believes in the 'fundamentals' of Mormonism but doesn't practice the faith.
  37. ^ Rollyson, Carl (August 8, 2013). Amy Lowell Anew: A Biography. Rowman & Littlefield Publishers. ISBN 978-1442223929. Preface reprinted at the author's website.
  38. ^ O'Donovan, Connell; Wilson, Wendell E. (May–June 2012). "Mildred J. 'Barrie' Berryman". The Mineralogical Record. 43 (3) – via Internet Archive.
  39. ^ Green, Emma (January 12, 2015). "The Profound Lack of Empathy in 'My Husband's Not Gay'". The Atlantic. Archived from the original on December 19, 2018. Retrieved February 10, 2019.
  40. ^ "TLC Faces Pressure to Cancel 'My Husband's Not Gay' Special, GLAAD Calls Show 'Dangerous'". Variety. January 6, 2015. Archived from the original on January 6, 2015. Retrieved June 29, 2023.
  41. ^ "'My Husband's Not Gay' Reality Show Faces Backlash". ABC News. January 6, 2015. Archived from the original on January 24, 2021. Retrieved August 10, 2023.
  42. ^ "Scott D. Pierce: Hulu/ABC News series documents 2 Latter-day Saint women who fell in love and got married". The Salt Lake Tribune. Retrieved June 25, 2022.
  43. ^ "Mormon No More: Two Mormon Moms Fall In Love and Leave the Church in New Hulu Docuseries". Salt Lake Magazine. June 22, 2022. Retrieved June 25, 2022.
  44. ^ Hutchinson-Jones, Cristine (2010). "Center and Periphery: Mormons and American Culture in Tony Kushner's Angels in America". Peculiar Portrayals: Mormons on the Page, Stage and Screen. Logan, Utah: Utah State University Press. ISBN 978-0-8061-3426-0 – via Project Muse.
  45. ^ Ciamachilli, Esther (January 12, 2015). "Mormon Church: 'Love and Accept' LGBT Members, Community". KUNR. University of Nevada.
  46. ^ Hinckley, Gordon B. (May 1987). "Reverence and Morality". Ensign. LDS Church. p. 45. Retrieved February 27, 2023.
  47. ^ a b Understanding and Helping Those Who Have Homosexual Problems. LDS Church. 1992. Retrieved November 3, 2016.
  48. ^ Packer, Boyd K. (1978). To The One. LDS Church. Retrieved February 26, 2023 – via Internet Archive.
  49. ^ "Elizabeth's Story: Ricardo's Wife". LDS Church. October 2016. Retrieved February 26, 2023.
  50. ^ Kimball, Spencer W. (1976) [1969]. The Miracle of Forgiveness (23rd print ed.). Bookcraft. p. 82,86. ISBN 978-0-88494-192-7. Retrieved February 27, 2023 – via Internet Archive. [Homosexuality] is curable and forgivable. ... Certainly it can be overcome .... [T]o those who say that this practice ... is incurable, I respond: 'How can you say the door cannot be opened until your knuckles are bloody ...? It can be done.' ... Some have ... convinced themselves that they ... have no desire toward the opposite sex. ... [L]et this individual repent of his perversion, force himself to return to normal pursuits and interests ... with the opposite sex, and this normal pattern [heterosexual dating] can become natural again.
  51. ^ Kimball, Spencer W.; Petersen, Mark (1970). Hope for Transgressors. LDS Church. pp. 5–6. Retrieved February 27, 2023 – via Internet Archive. The entrenched homosexual has ... moved all of his interests and affections to those of his own sex ... and herein is another step. When you feel he is ready he should be encouraged to date and gradually move his life toward the normal. ...[G]radually they can move their romantic interests where they belong. Marriage and normal life can follow.
  52. ^ Understanding and Changing Homosexual Orientation Problems. LDS Church. 1981. pp. 20, 25. Retrieved February 27, 2023 – via Brigham Young University. Homosexual orientation problems ... are often a reflection of poor interpersonal relationships with ... peers. ... Discuss dating and dating practices. Give female interaction assignments. ...[S]peaking to a girl may be considered a task, as may inviting her to a movie. However, to actually meet her, escort her to the movie, escort her home, and say goodnight is an experience cycle ... designed to meet a predetermined goal.
  53. ^ Homosexuality. Salt Lake City, Utah: LDS Church. 1981. p. 6. Retrieved February 27, 2023. Encourage the member to be in appropriate situations with members of the opposite sex, even if he has to force himself. ... Encourage him (if single) to begin dating and gradually increase its frequency.
  54. ^ [50][51][52][53]
  55. ^ [3]: 1 [2]: 17:32 
  56. ^ Fletcher Stack, Peggy (November 9, 1997). "42 Percent At BYU Want Gays Kept Out; Gays Unwelcome, Say Many at BYU". The Salt Lake Tribune. Salt Lake City, Utah. p. B5. ProQuest 288817289. Archived from the original on February 4, 2022. Retrieved February 27, 2023 – via Newspapers.com. Respondents then were asked four questions: 1. Would they gracefully decline or accept the request to work with him for one year? 2. After one year, he is romantic and sexually attracted to you, but he still has same-sex attraction. He promises never to engage in any sex outside marriage. Would you accept or decline? 3. You continue your friendship and he works hard until you are convinced he has only a weak same-sex attraction. He is romantically and sexually attracted to you. Would you accept or decline? 4. Would your response change if he had never been sexually active?Researchers found that 33 percent answered yes to question 1; 11 percent to question 2; 23 percent to question 3; and 33 percent to question 4.
  57. ^ Fletcher Stack, Peggy (January 14, 2015). "Study Reveals What Really Happens When Gay Mormon Men Marry Straight Women". Huffington Post. New York City. Retrieved February 26, 2023.
  58. ^ Fletcher Stack, Peggy (February 23, 2023). "If a gay Mormon man marries a woman, divorce is likely, study finds". The Salt Lake Tribune. Salt Lake City, Utah. The study found that: Between 51 percent and 69 percent of mixed-orientation Mormon marriages end in divorce, well above the roughly 25 percent of LDS couples who split up.
  59. ^ Ring, Trudy (January 13, 2015). "Study: Mixed-Orientation Mormon Marriages Likely to Fail". The Advocate. Los Angeles. Retrieved February 26, 2023.
  60. ^ Angell, Camron (December 13, 2023). "Where Do I Fit in God's Plan?: Mixed-Orientation Marriages in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints". Student Works. Brigham Young University.
  61. ^ [9]: 301, 304 [60]: 2, 5 
  62. ^ Moore, Carrie A. "Gay LDS men detail challenges". Deseret News. Salt Lake City, Utah: LDS Church. Retrieved February 24, 2023.
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